By Leean Lester
Hi, everyone! Spring is finally here, and can you believe it’s already April?! This month, I’d like to talk about relationships. I have had a lot of clients come to me lately with issues in this area, and it has been really rough. Venus is still in retrograde until April 19th, affecting relationships and finances. When planets are in retrograde, they really don’t go backwards, they just slow down—this means you have to work harder at some things, and right now, relationships require some extra effort and attention.
The things that I see happening the most in relationships, and that are usually the main problems, are a lack of communication and a tendency to assume things. We tend to get caught up in the day-to-day grind of everyday life, and some things we end up loosing sight of. When this happens, we don’t really notice it until somewhere down the road, and then we can’t put our finger on what’s happened and how.
About a year ago, with the help of a business associate and good friend Rayna M. F. Duenas, we came up with a relationship questionnaire and skills guideline packet. I have given it to a few people to try and use to see if it would help. The feedback I have gotten has been pretty much positive. The questionnaire shows you where there might be weak spots, and the skills guideline sheet shows you some suggestions for how to fix them.
Like anything else, whether it be business or personal, communication is the real key to how strong a foundation you will have. The better you’re able to communicate what you want to say, the stronger the relationship will be. Most of the time, we are afraid to say something because it will sound silly or stupid, or we just assume that the other person knows. Well, as the old saying goes, “When you assume something , you make an a#% of u and me.” There is a lot of truth in this saying. One more thing here to remember is that it’s better to ask whether it might be stupid or silly, than to always wonder, “What if only I had said something or done something?” Most of us tend to be hard on ourselves, and we get a guilt complex in one way or another as a result.
We take so much value and stock in what others say and think about us that we put our own selves down. You should always look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am a human being, I’m worth something and I value myself and my opinions. I live my life in a way that I see works for me, and I should not have to answer to anyone, as long as I’m not hurting anybody.”
A lot of the times when we are in a relationship and it starts to go bad, it is usually due to thinking that we can’t do any better. We tend to end up with low self-esteem, and then we fall into what you might call a “master and slave” relationship. We tend to ignore what our family and friends are saying, and we tell them that they don’t know what they are talking about. Deep down inside, we know that they are right, but we can’t seem to break free from this nightmare that we have created for ourselves.
The next thing we know, we end up totally miserable or sometimes worse – lying in a hospital beaten up, or being nothing more than a shell of who you used to be. And if we do finally end up getting out of this nightmare, then before we know it, we tend to find ourselves right back in another one. It might not be the same one (although sometimes it is) –it’s a similar nightmare, just with different players and scenarios.
No one should tell you how to live your life or make you do anything that you’re not comfortable with or do not agree with. You are a person and you have the right to express yourself. One thing you must remember at all times, and this is hard for some, is that you are someone of value and that you can do anything if you really want it.
Another thing that we tend to think is that there’s something in that person that is good, and that maybe we can save them. We are only fooling ourselves, because deep down inside, we know they will never change. The old saying here, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” really applies. Basically what this means is that people can’t be forced into something; if they are willing to or want to change, then they will. The freewill thing.
A lot of the things in this article that I’ve talked about come from experience. It is true that experience is our best teacher, if only we take the time to look and listen. You should always have an open mind or at least take in the advice someone might be trying to give you, as food for thought. There is no harm in this. Usually they know what they are talking about, because they themselves have been down a similar road and are speaking from experience. A saying that I saw somewhere and changed it around some, makes a lot of sense: “Life is like a road, filled with potholes—the size of them depends on your choices.” I think that there is so much meaning in this quote. I kind of adopted it as my motto of life for the moment. As with all things, nothing stays the same forever.
So until next month, remember: “Life is what you make of it, and you should always live it the way you want. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do this or that, because you’re not stupid, just maybe a little lost along the way.” May life give you all that you need and want!
Many blessings until next time…The Palmistry Lady
If anyone is interested in the relationship questionnaire and skills guide packet, just contact me and I will send it. Also, I am offering to do a relationship compatibility chart for only $25.00 (this is a $65.00 value). If you would like a relationship compatibility chart, please send the following: both your name and your lover’s name, as you sign it on documents, and both your and your lover’s birth date.