By Carol Guy
There is much talk about this book called A New Earth, by Eckart Tolle. In the beginning of the book, he mentions, “Not everyone is ready.”
This is so true, but on my journey of awakening, it happened without me being ready. You see, when God calls, you can’t hang up the phone. I know I tried. It was my time and I am part of this “New Earth”.
I am 48 years old, and my awakening started in 1993. I was 34 at the time, living in Germany with my military husband and my two children. I loved living in Germany. Life was great.
In the early part of 1993, my husband came home and told me he had orders to leave Germany. The army was transferring him to Colorado and we were leaving Germany in June. The moment he told me, it felt like a knife went into me. I had never been to Colorado and I knew in that moment that I couldn’t go there. I knew if I went to Colorado my life was going to change. Big time!
I never thought of myself as being gifted - more as being cursed. I knew things, saw things, and could hear things that others couldn’t. I knew that many people truly couldn’t see or hear. I never thought anymore about this until this day when I knew I couldn’t go to Colorado. It was a feeling of death for me.
For months I tried to talk to my husband about not going there. I tried to tell him that he couldn’t take me there. I really couldn’t explain it to him because I really didn’t know the details myself. I started begging him not to take me to Colorado. I tried talking to friends to have them help me. But no one understood, not even me. In the end, my husband told me, “ I am going back to the states and you are going with me.” I knew there was no hope, so I did the best I could. I started preparing myself and my family to leave.
The next few months I struggled with this knowing, this feeling that I couldn’t go to Colorado. I didn’t know why I felt this way. All I knew was my life was going to change and I couldn’t shake this. I was starting to fall apart inside.
After a month in St. Louis visiting family and friends, we headed to Colorado. I remember stopping at a gas station. My husband went in and asked for directions to the army base. I got out of the car and stood there looking around. I said out loud, “God, please don’t do this to me.”
The next three years were unbearable. I really started falling apart. I felt like I was dying inside. I was going through what this world would consider depression. I remember trying to talk to my husband, my friends, and my family about how I felt but no one understood. All they would tell me is to go get help. Get some drugs. I felt like I was going to rip my skin off if I didn’t get out of Colorado. I hated it there.
Then at the end of 1995, I knew it was time to leave Colorado. I had made it. I didn’t care where we got stationed at as long as I was out of Colorado. I knew if I left there I would be safe again, but then it happened. My husband came home and said that he wanted to stay another year. He and my children loved it here. Everyone was happy but me. I once again started begging him to please not leave me here. He had to get me out of Colorado. I didn’t care where we went; I just needed to get out of there. Once again I tried talking to friends, and all anyone said to me was, “Go get help.” Get some drugs. Long story short, my husband came home and said, “We are staying here, so get over it.”
I then knew I had to do something with myself. I went to the doctor to get the drugs. That night, I put two pills in my hand and just looked at them. My husband said to me, “Why won’t you take them?” I looked at him and said, “Because I will never give you a reason to take my children away from me.” In that very moment, I walked over to the toilet and poured the pills down it. That very moment I got strong. Something inside me changed.
In 1997, I knew it was time to leave my marriage and I went to church and asked God to forgive me for what I am about to do. I left my twenty year marriage. Then things really started happening to me. I would look at my children and I didn’t feel like a mother. I knew they were mine, but I had no feeling of it. This devastated me. Then I was changing inside and out. I saw pictures of myself and I didn’t know who was in that picture. I had no idea who it was, though I realized it was me. I would go to the gym and see people moving and breathing, but they were all empty shells. It was like seeing dead people.
In 2001, my ex-husband was being stationed in Korea and I knew I had to let my children go with him. I could see that their souls had to leave. I had never been alone in my life, and my children were my breath. This was the hardest thing I had ever done, and I didn’t understand why, but then it really happened. In 2002, it was like the top of my head opened up and I could see, feel, and hear this paradise that we call heaven in my own back yard. I could hear the flowers and trees talk to me. Animals were showing up all over the place and I could hear the messages they wanted to give me. I could feel the purity of love all around me. I lived in this state for over a year. I lived in a bliss state of pure consciousness.
I was isolated during this time; studying and learning from the divine. It was hard to go out to stores and be among people because of the human energy. I was shown the illusion of the world. At first I didn’t understand this. I was angry because I felt God was playing a game with us. I didn’t understand and had no one to speak to about this. More and more things were happening, and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I didn’t understand why I was shown all of this.
In April 2003, I was given a profound message: “I am the angel Elijah. You are to awaken and call forth all other earth angels. You will be guided. We love you. You are the mother of all.”
In May of 2003, my children were coming back home. I felt like I was thrown back over the fence of the human world. I tried sharing this with my family and friends but no one understood. I didn’t know who to be in this world or what to do with what I had just learned. For the next year I struggled to live in both worlds, but I couldn’t. I had to decide which world I wanted to live in and get off the fence. It was a hard decision, for everything I loved so dear was in the human-consciousness world.
Today, I am guided to help others to learn to get ready. How do you know you are ready? You won’t until it happens, but the best thing you can do is be gentle with yourself. When God calls, don’t fight it and try to hang up the phone. Start learning to let go so you will be able to receive the love and gifts that God is offering you with this life change.
The more you can learn to let go of the things you once believed in and trust what you are shown, the more you will be able to understand. Trust, trust, and trust what you are shown, no matter what the outside world tells you. Know you are not alone in this, that more and more are being awaken everyday from this world of illusion. Seek out others that are like-minded. Some may still not know or understand the depths of your journey, but know it is your journey, no one else’s
What I learned over the years is that this New Earth is here and it never left. It is only the sleepiness of the human conscious. It is mind-blowing for people, but now we are able to speak about it so others will understand. Not everyone’s journey will be like mine. Each of us has our own journey, a journey in which our soul knows what it needs to do to grow. When you find yourself not knowing what to do next, tell yourself, “My soul knows,” because it does.